#LifeWithFreaks: Becky Holmes and Her Jeweled Friends

How did you first discover German Kabirski jewelry, and what does the jewelry mean to you now?

I first discovered GK jewelry through Instagram about two years ago. I was immediately obsessed with these crazily beautiful designs. I'd never seen anything like them, and I would visit the website several times a week, just looking through the pieces I dreamed of owning one day. I promised myself that when my book was published, I would buy a ring to commemorate the achievement, which I did, and it felt awesome to finally own something I'd been eyeing for so long. Shortly afterward, my friend bought me a pendant to celebrate the book's launch in the States. Whenever I wear one of them, I feel genuinely special as they remind me that, against all odds, I achieved something.

What challenges did you face in life, and how did you overcome them?

About 10 years ago, I fell ill with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, which meant that I had to give up the career I loved, and my marriage fell apart shortly afterward. Feeling so unwell and suddenly just existing rather than living led to a very dark period where I got into a series of unhealthy relationships, and my mental health plummeted. I ended up in a psychiatric ward and underwent a year of intensive therapy (twice a week for a year). I had to work incredibly hard, but it changed my life. I shed some toxic people from my life, picked myself up, and moved forward on my own with the first glimmer of hope I'd had in many years. My physical health was no better, but I was in a better place to deal with the emotional effects of that.

Can you tell us about your book and what inspired you to write it?

My book, 'Keanu Reeves Is Not In Love With You,' is based on a Twitter account I set up during lockdown (which now has over 118,000 followers - @deathtospinach). I use my Twitter account to expose romance fraudsters in funny ways. I started doing it to relieve my own boredom and make myself laugh, but it turned out that loads of people loved it. I began to be contacted by people who had been victims of this type of fraud and wanted to tell me their story. When I started to research the subject, I realized what a misunderstood topic it is and how it resonated with some of the controlling behavior I had experienced in my post-marriage relationships. The book is now well-regarded within the fraud industry and has been well-received by the public, being stocked all over the world. Many people have messaged me to say they gave the book to people they believed were being defrauded, and reading it helped them leave the relationship. This is the best feeling of all!

What is your expertise, and what are you passionate about in your field?

My expertise is in romance fraud, social engineering, and coercive control. I'm passionate about changing the way people view those who have been victims of this crime. Stopping the judgment and treating the victims with respect, recognizing that the reason they have been defrauded isn't stupidity, it's kindness. I feel we need to change our language to change mindsets. I am also incredibly passionate about using humor to deliver serious messages - I think making people laugh is a sure way to get their attention and pass on information without boring them half to death.

How do your personal experiences influence your work and your choice of jewelry?

In terms of my personal experiences, I think my life has been perhaps unusually rocky. It means that I see things a little differently. Throughout my life, friends have called me bold, brave, quirky, and eccentric (as well as lots of awful things, haha). When I think about these words, I think they also describe GK jewelry perfectly. I like to make a statement in life, and what fun it is to do it with jewelry. I'm excited about getting another piece one day!

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